Recruiters Are Not Your Friends: Understanding the Game So You Can Win It

Let’s get one thing straight — recruiters aren’t villains, but they’re also not part of your inner career circle. They’re not your career coach, your mentor, or your bestie. They are sales professionals working within a very specific business model… and once you understand that model, everything suddenly makes sense.

If you’ve ever wondered why a recruiter ghosted you, pushed you toward a role that didn’t fit, or tried to nudge your salary expectations downward, this guide will help you understand what’s really happening behind the scenes — and how you can use the system to your advantage.

Understanding the Recruitment Model

Recruiters work for one group only: their clients — the employers. Not you.

External recruitment agencies are paid only when they successfully place a candidate. Sometimes multiple recruiters compete for the same role, and only the one who fills it gets paid at all. That means:

• They need someone who ticks the boxes — fast.
• They want a candidate who fits the brief at the lowest acceptable salary band.
• They prioritise candidates who are “easy wins” and ready to sign quickly.

It’s a high-pressure, fast-moving environment, and candidates often get caught in the crossfire.

What Does a Recruiter Actually Want?

Simple: the perfect candidate for their client, not necessarily the perfect outcome for you.

And contrary to popular belief, you don’t “win” by trying to impress them or by being overly open — you win by understanding what they need and speaking their language.

How to Make Recruitment Work for You

1. Know Who They Work For

They may act friendly, supportive, and invested — and some are genuinely good people doing their best — but their loyalty and their paycheque come from the employer.

Anything you say can be used to disqualify you. That includes:

• Your salary expectations
• Your long-term goals
• Your job satisfaction
• Your willingness to leave your current employer
• Your personal circumstances

2. Keep Your Plans to Yourself

Recruiters want someone who will stay long enough for their fee to “stick.” If you mention that you may leave the industry, relocate, start a business, or return to study, they may quietly move on to a candidate who looks “stable” on paper.

Signal commitment. Avoid oversharing.

3. Stay Professional — Even When You’re Stressed

If a recruiter senses you’re desperate, they lose confidence in your bargaining power — and you lose leverage.

Stay calm, measured, and professional, even if you're keen to move jobs quickly. Recruiters must feel they’re presenting a strong, reliable candidate.

4. Don’t Undercut Yourself on Salary

Never volunteer the lowest number you’re willing to accept. Recruiters often go straight to the bottom of your stated range when pitching you to clients.

Your salary expectations should:

• Match your market value
• Align with the role’s level
• Allow room for negotiation

Know Your Rights as a Candidate

The recruitment process can feel secretive, but candidates have more rights than most realise.

• You can request confirmation of your application — including written proof that the recruiter actually submitted you.
• You can ask for all information stored about you in the agency’s database.
• If offered a role, you can have a lawyer review your contract before signing.
• You have the right to accurate job information — recruiters cannot misrepresent role details.

Awareness is power. Use it.

How to Protect Your Own Interests

• Always research salary bands independently.
• Ask for written confirmation of role details.
• Request a copy of your submission email to the employer.
• Keep communication brief, professional, and focused on facts.
• Avoid revealing personal or long-term plans.

Final Word: Recruiters Aren’t Your Friends — But They Can Be Useful Allies

Recruiters play an important role in the hiring ecosystem. They have access to roles you may never hear about, and they can fast-track your application if they decide you’re “the one.”

But they’re not there to guide your career — they’re there to fill a job.

Approach the relationship professionally, protect your interests, and use the system strategically. That’s how you turn the recruitment model into an advantage.

Want more insights into positioning yourself for higher-value roles? Explore our guide to creating a powerful personal value proposition.